"Geoff"
The Parameters:
Genre: Drama
Required Idiom: “Have a cow”
Required Adjective: “Frank”
The Story:
“Don’t have a cow,” Geoff says, and shoves a forkful of food into his mouth. “It’s just a joke.” His mouth doesn’t close fully when he chews, so tiny specks of shrimp fly from his big, wet lips.
“I don’t think calling our mother ‘used goods’ is funny,” Alex says. He’s four years older than me, a junior in college, and he speaks to people with a blunt confidence that shocks me.
“I’m saying some guys think that way. Not me, obviously. If I’m being frank, I’ve dated tons of hot divorced women.”
Mom doesn’t have a great track record as far as boyfriends go, but after knowing Geoff only an hour, I can already say he’s the worst. She pushes her salad around on her plate, head down, avoiding eye contact with any of us.
“You’re a real saint,” Alex snarls. Geoff smiles, oblivious to his sarcasm.
I know Alex wants me to help him defend Mom. But he’ll go back to school tomorrow; I’m the one who will be home and will have to be around this guy, and I don’t want to piss him off. Besides, deep down, I’m thinking what I know Mom’s also thinking. That Geoff is proof of his own theory. That if she can’t find someone better than him, it must be because no one else would have her.
So I tune out their conversation, and focus on my pasta, and make bets with myself on when they’ll break up.
Next Week:
Genre: Horror
Required Idiom: “Grab the bull by the horns”
Required Adjective: “Double”